Love is Patient
Posted by: Jessica Lynn on: October 3, 2009
Start from the Beginning:
Day One of The Love Dare went pretty well I think. The Dare for today was to show patience by not saying anything negative to my husband. I’m not a particularily negative person so I found this dare to be relatively easy. The only time I wanted to say something mean was at 5 am this morning when he wouldn’t wake up to help me with the baby. I was so tired because she had been up a few times and I just wanted him to go get her for me.
It was amazing to me that The Dare popped into my sleep deprived mind even then. I was then able to get out of bed and push all those negative thoughts and words I wanted to say out of my head and focus on taking care of my baby girl.
It was a really powerful moment for me because if I hadn’t done that I would have been angry with my husband all day. So instead of waking up grumpy and tired. I’m just tired and was able to greet my husband with a smile and words full of kindness.
Hope tomorrow is as easy.
The Love Dare
Posted by: Jessica Lynn on: October 2, 2009
If you’ve seen the movie Fireproof, then you know what The Love Dare is. If you haven’t seen the movie, I think you should, it’s really good.
The Love Dare (to put it simply) is a dare for your marriage. It lasts for 40 days and each day there is a task you must do in regards to showing love to your spouse.
The Hunk and I bought this book months and months and months ago after we had seen the movie. Until a few weeks ago I hadn’t thought about it or even looked at it. But I was cleaning the bookshelf and found it sitting there brand new never touched.
I decided to give it a try. I thought I had a pretty good marriage. I thought we were doing just fine.
Boy was I wrong.
As I did The Love Dare (and I’m still not done yet, but the Hunk figured out I was doing it so it doesn’t have to be a secret anymore) I wrote a post expressing my feelings about what I was asked to do and how I did it, etc. I have been saving them until I could post them. I didn’t want the Hunk to know I was doing it. But alas, he figured it out because he too started The Dare.
So, here we go–40 days of purpose. 40 days of working on my marriage. 40 days towards change–really really good change.
Come with me and listen in on my journey through The Love Dare.
Enter the Joke Master
Posted by: Jessica Lynn on: September 8, 2009
Driving in the van…..
Blue-Eyed Boy ”Hey mom!!”
Me “Yes [Blue-Eyed Boy], what do you need?”
Blue-Eyed Boy “I need to talk to you!”
Me “About what?”
Blue-Eyed Boy “Let’s talk about a joke”
Me “Okay” (he knows a joke?)
Blue-Eyed Boy “Okay, there were three trees and they walked across a bridge”
(Still perplexed that he knows a joke)
“and they were walking and walking and walking”
“Then the baby was hungry, and it cried and cried and criiiied.”
(moment of silence)
“HAHAHAHA!! (extreme ammounts of squealing laughter) Wasn’t that funny, Mom? Wasn’t that FUNNY??”
(a little perplexed, but laughing none-the-less because he is laughing so hard, even the Red-Haired girl had released her beautiful baby belly laugh)
Me “Yes, [Blue-Eyed Boy], that was a GREAT joke”
and we chuckled the whole rest of the way home.
Finding the fun in the storm
Posted by: Jessica Lynn on: August 29, 2009
I love my Blue-Eyed Boy. He is the most wonderful, imaginative little boy on the planet (hey I may be a little partial….but then again–maybe not).
Yesterday was a rainy gloomy all around awful day (weather wise). But I didn’t let that stop us from running our errands. On the way home from the library it started pouring rain.
Now the Blue-Eyed Boy just loves the windshield wipers. I usually endure countless squeals of “clean it again mom!”, or “oh no, there’s rain, there’s rain get it OFF mom! Wipe it! Wipe it! Wipe it!”. And no matter how many times I tell him that it goes automatically by itself he still yells this at me while I’m driving. It’s fun (and cute) so I don’t mind.
Yesterday he surprised me when he yelled,
“MOOOOM, the rain—it’s DANCING on your window!!!” (my window being the windsheild)
This was followed by squeals of laughter and delight.
It was silent for a full 2 minutes and then (accompianied by more squeals and even a few hand claps)
“Mom, Mom, MOOOM the rain is DANCING on MY window!!!”.
I was awed by the wisdom and imagination of his description of the rain pellting the van windows even as I drove white-knuckled through the storm. It made the ride much more enjoyable. And I think I even loosened my grip on the steering wheel– just a bit.
He always finds good in everything.
My amazing little boy.
Can you see me?
Posted by: Jessica Lynn on: August 28, 2009
For the past couple of weeks my dear Hunk has been giving me a few hours to go out by myself. Whilst he stays home and tends to the children (what a quaint little statement that is) I go out.
The key here is I go out by MYSELF. No kids, no husbands, nothing. Just me and the radio. Oh, the FREEDOM!
Can I tell you that the first “mommy’s morning out” I was scared out of my wits? Yes, I’ll admit it–I’m a grown woman who was scared to go out of her house by herself.
I felt naked without the huge diaperbag/purse I always carry. I felt like something was missing the entire time I was out. Like I had forgotten something really important.
What is wrong with me?
I’ve come to the realization that what’s wrong with me is that somewhere almost four years ago I left myself behind to dive head first into the world of motherhood (was that a run-on sentence or what? too bad I’m keeping it). The moment I held that sweet little baby boy for the first time I was consumed with the deepest most intense love I’ve ever felt. All I wanted to do was be a good mom to this tender little life I’d been given.
Which is all well and good. BUT (there’s always a “but” isn’t there?) a good mom is a whole mom.
And I wasn’t a whole mom, folks. Not even close. I’ve realized this over the past few months. I was running out of steam. I was getting impatient with my children. I was getting frustrated constatly at my husband. I was all around a very unpleasant person to be around. This added to the stresses we were facing as a family and things weren’t so good (as I’m sure you’ve gathered from all my depressing posts lately…..and the lack of posts even).
I’ve known for awhile that I’ve needed some time to myself. Some time to figure out who I am, again. Time- to refresh myself and my attitude.
I don’t know if I was afraid to ask for some time to myself or if I was feeling like I didn’t deserve it. I think it was a mixture of both. And a bit of not wanting to admit to anyone, myself even, that I really couldn’t do it all. Admiting that I need help has never been my strength.
Well, as you’ve already gathered I somehow found the guts to ask my dear Hunk if I could have a few hours to myself on his days off. And much to my surprise and delight, he said yes.
The first morning was awful. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I ended up wandering around a few stores like a lost puppy. It was pathetic, let me tell you.
The second morning I was better prepared. I had an appointment set to get my hair cut. Then I planned to buy myself a new outfit. It was lovely.
I’m thinking my third morning will be even more wonderful.
The best part is I’ve been more patient with my kids. I’ve been more patient with my husband. I’ve felt happier than I have in a long time, refreshed even. Each time I went out I’ve come back so happy to see my family again. I feel less weighed down by life. And the best part: I’m slowly regaining some confidence in myself as a woman. I think I’ve buried myself under the guise of “perfect mother” for so long that I forgot what it was to be a woman. I forgot that motherhood was only a small piece of the womanly pie.
So I will continue on this journey. I think I’ve finally learned that having some time to myself, for myself, is a priority I need to make time for. Lucky for me, my husband has noticed the change in me and realizes I need this too.
And who knows…maybe one of these times I’ll meet myself.
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