I’m having a hard time with it.

My baby, my blue-eyed, sweet little guy is growing up! and all I can do is stand here and watch. Every day I see less of the baby and more of the little boy emerging. I keep grasping at and pulling all the memories close and storing them safety inside my heart. I know I can’t remember everything, but I am desperate in my desire to not forget.

On the other hand…..

I’m exited for him. For this new journey he will be taking. For the next step. I can be confident that thus far I have done well in giving him the love and nurturing he needs to be able to take that big step into independence. But it comes at such a price– no more days with momma.

He of course has no idea what Kindergarten is. All he knows is it’s like school (what he knows of preschool) and he is excited for that. Thankfully, he LOVES school, quite passionately.

But momma’s heart is being ripped open once again with the letting go.

Thats all I have to say.

(see the side bar or the page up above for stats)

Blue-Eyed Boy: I have no idea what I’m talking about either, mom.

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Blue-Eyed Boy: Mom, you’re getting bigger every day!

Me: No, I’m an adult, I stopped growing a while ago

Blue-Eyed Boy: No, you’re getting HUUUGE! (thanks for the vote of confidence, Buddy)

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The Hunk and I were laying in bed, one morning, listening to the kids talk to each other in the other room (on the baby monitor)……

The Hunk: (to me) I hope they don’t make a mess

Blue-Eyed Boy: (to Red-Haired Girl) Hey [R.H. Girl] throw all your blankies out of your bed and make a HUGE mess!

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Blue-Eyed Boy: Mom, I jumped really high and banged down on the ground and it shook the WHOLE WORLD!

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Blue-Eyed Boy: God made the snow so that the world could be wonderful

I think that’s a good place to stop.

yeah, weeeeell…..take a look over there ———————————————>

I should have listened.

So, in order to humiliate be honest with myself (and you, dear readers!),  here’s my top five things you shouldn’t do if you’re trying to lose weight:

1. skip the gym

2. eat sweet confections of badness.

3. eat out a bunch

4.  eat because your bored

5. eat because your feeling depressed because you haven’t lost any weight in two weeks (this did help my plight, however, just not in the right direction!!!)

So now that I’ve embarrassed motivated myself, next week should be a piece of cake (I mean…umm…fruit!)

Until then–here’s to getting back on the band wagon.

Seriously. majorly. unequivocally awful.

I. DID. NOT. LOSE. A. POUND.

Now, granted it was probably (okay! okay!) totally my own fault because I succumbed to the temptation of chocolate cake, brownies and chocolate chip cookies this weekend.

But I killed myself the rest of the week (It’s too bad there’s that whole calories in–calories out clause in the fine print)!

So obviously my percentage for this week is ZERO (I suck. You can say it with me: Jess–you suck).

Want to know what is so stinkin’ hilarious that I almost pee in my pants every time I think about it?

This morning I skipped the gym (depression hurts) and I decided to hop on the scale to make sure yesterday wasn’t a fluke and I hadn’t gained 10 pounds overnight (from all that delicious wonderful seductive awful chocolate cake) and I LOST 2 POUNDS.

Seriously?

I mean, seriously?

As the Hunk reminded me: next weeks weigh in will be awesome because I have a super head start.

The leader board has yet to be posted but hopefully I’m not in last place (is it awful of me to wish the others had actually gained weight? Yes, probably but we’ve already established that I suck, so whatever).

If I have time I’ll come back later to update ya’ll on where I stand on the leader board.

Hopefully next week I’ll have better news.

Until then,

If you’re just joining us: click here and here.

Filed under: a new year--a new me, Challenge 2010 ]]> http://bananapeelblog.wordpress.com/2010/02/04/weigh-in-week-two/feed/ 4 Jess my siggy